|
18:05:45 |
gaby |
hi claudia |
|
18:07:01 |
claudia |
Hi Gaby. |
|
18:07:07 |
gaby |
hi |
|
18:07:25 |
claudia |
Are you here for the ICAN chat? |
|
18:07:31 |
gaby |
yes i am |
|
18:07:52 |
claudia |
We are both early, apparently it starts
at 5 pm. But go ahead. |
|
18:08:15 |
gaby |
what time is it |
|
18:08:28 |
gaby |
i get confussed with these time
differences |
|
18:08:36 |
claudia |
It is 4:08 mountain time. I am in
Edmonton, Canada. |
|
18:08:58 |
gaby |
its 6;08 here in nyc |
|
18:09:09 |
gaby |
so am i an hour early |
|
18:09:26 |
claudia |
I am here already. Do you have a
question? |
|
18:09:56 |
gaby |
well im 6 weeks pregnant and i still
dont have a care taker yet |
|
18:10:15 |
gaby |
i cant believe whats out there |
|
18:10:28 |
claudia |
You mean they have refused you? |
|
18:10:38 |
gaby |
yeah |
|
18:10:52 |
claudia |
Wow. That's mean. |
|
18:11:11 |
gaby |
one midwife that i heard was supposed to
be good said no we dont take vbacs
especially after 3 sections |
|
18:11:44 |
gaby |
one ob said oh we dont recommend vbacs
and im like well i wouldnt recomend u to
any one i know |
|
18:12:11 |
claudia |
Nice ob. He probably wants you to have a
cesarean. |
|
18:12:28 |
gaby |
one midwife that i met seems good but
she has to get an ob too ok the labor |
|
18:12:47 |
gaby |
i dont know what to do if no one takes
me as there patient |
|
18:13:02 |
claudia |
Yes that's happened. And that is how
they get you because the OB will say no.
Can you ask more midwives? |
|
18:13:18 |
gaby |
theres really not too many |
|
18:13:44 |
claudia |
I know. Have you tried many OB's? |
|
18:13:51 |
gaby |
no i didnt |
|
18:14:10 |
gaby |
i can go back to my old ob but i know
for sure because he already told me he
would schedule me |
|
18:14:16 |
gaby |
but that doesnt mean i have to show up |
|
18:14:40 |
claudia |
It will be painful to be rejected over
and over but the alternative is to show
at the hospital at the pushing stage. Ha
ha. |
|
18:15:03 |
gaby |
i already thought about that but what do
i do for prenatal care |
|
18:15:40 |
claudia |
A GP/family doctor or midwife can do the
prenatal care until the last 2 months. |
|
18:16:02 |
gaby |
ahhhhhhhh i see |
|
18:16:13 |
claudia |
Then you get transferred to an OB. |
|
18:16:33 |
gaby |
and thats when they schedule for the
csection |
|
18:16:47 |
claudia |
But if the OB is hassling you, you miss"
the last few appointments." |
|
18:16:55 |
gaby |
good idea |
|
18:17:34 |
gaby |
this pregnancy i feel so layed back i
dont know if thats a good thing almost
like im very relaxed and not even
nervous |
|
18:17:54 |
claudia |
That is very good. It means you have
trust in the birth. |
|
18:18:09 |
gaby |
i do its every one else i dont trust |
|
18:18:30 |
claudia |
I know. There is always an unattended
birth. |
|
18:18:38 |
gaby |
and i lied to all my friends and family
about the due date |
|
18:18:53 |
gaby |
and i told them that i was scheduling so
i dont get hassled |
|
18:18:57 |
claudia |
Good for you. You dont need that
pressure. Did you add 2 weeks or more? |
|
18:19:10 |
gaby |
and told my husband not one word to no
one what our plans are |
|
18:19:16 |
gaby |
oh yeah |
|
18:19:34 |
gaby |
im due the 18 of august i told them
early september |
|
18:19:40 |
claudia |
I added 2 weeks too. And I only had 1
prior cesarean. |
|
18:20:06 |
gaby |
i gotta do whats best for my sanity |
|
18:20:42 |
claudia |
Sanity, good. |
|
18:20:42 |
gaby |
i read on ican that someone just had a
hwba3c did u see that |
|
18:21:12 |
gaby |
it seems we are seeing more moms with
vba3c |
|
18:21:44 |
claudia |
Cesareans do get boring with time. I
have met many multiple VBAC homebirths
waterbirths myself. |
|
18:21:51 |
gaby |
how many children do u have |
|
18:22:11 |
claudia |
Only 2. One cesarean was enough for me
to fight back. |
|
18:22:23 |
gaby |
i here u |
|
18:22:48 |
gaby |
the reason im on number 4 is because 2
were from my previous marriage |
|
18:23:28 |
claudia |
What made you change directions now from
a repeat cesarean? |
|
18:23:38 |
gaby |
i always fought for a vbac |
|
18:23:49 |
gaby |
never turned out in my favor |
|
18:24:06 |
claudia |
Really? You tried twice? Both in
hospital or with midwives? |
|
18:24:18 |
gaby |
both in the hospital |
|
18:24:37 |
gaby |
one was ten years ago when they wanted
woman to vbac |
|
18:24:48 |
gaby |
the last section was almost 2 years ago |
|
18:24:49 |
claudia |
Hospitals have very low success" rates
in any decade." |
|
18:25:28 |
gaby |
i guess my research of ten years ago
wasnt enough because i ended up with
pitocin and being layed in bed |
|
18:25:43 |
gaby |
this last child i had a doula but i had
prom for 40 hours |
|
18:26:17 |
gaby |
the doctor didnt push me into the
csection he said if i wanted to i could
labor for days it was the doula who gave
up on me |
|
18:26:40 |
claudia |
The research is never enough. It is how
well the doctor trusts you. Forty hours
of pressure in the hospital. The doula
gave up? Did she not have a backup
doula? |
|
18:26:45 |
gaby |
of course the doctor appreciated that
from her |
|
18:26:55 |
gaby |
nope |
|
18:27:31 |
gaby |
i had told my husband and my doula i
didnt want to go to the hospital and she
said well lets just see the progress
that we made |
|
18:27:48 |
gaby |
and once in the hospital i was admitted
because of the ruptured membranes |
|
18:28:14 |
gaby |
but i had only my ob check me and he
allowed me to walk in the halls and no
ive hook up |
|
18:28:49 |
gaby |
this time things are going to be what i
say or else they get kicked out |
|
18:29:20 |
claudia |
A doula friend of mine was on a VBAC for
28 hours but had to call for backup. I
am a doula too and I want my clients to
make me work hard. |
|
18:30:02 |
gaby |
i dont know why she didnt have any
backups |
|
18:30:55 |
claudia |
Soem don't. Or they do and then the
backups are not available. In any case.
She was not supposed to tell you to have
a cesarean. She should have just gone
for a nap and come back later. |
|
18:31:42 |
gaby |
yeah she told me because i was only at
2cm that it might take long time before
i dilate and then when i do i might be
so tired to push |
|
18:32:03 |
gaby |
what a crock every time i think about it
i want to kick myself over and over |
|
18:32:40 |
claudia |
I know. This birth thing for you
obviously needs to be clock-less. |
|
18:33:19 |
gaby |
i guess everyone has to go with there
own instincts and i have to learn not to
listen to someone elses demands |
|
18:33:29 |
claudia |
yes. |
|
18:34:23 |
gaby |
well in the past as soon as i took the
test and it was positive right away i
would call the ob and make an
appointment this time i took it and i
was like oh im pregnant ok |
|
18:35:47 |
claudia |
We look for others to take care of us,
it is very natural. Until we learn that
we have to take care of ourselves. |
|
18:36:35 |
claudia |
Are you a member of ICAN? |
|
18:36:39 |
gaby |
yes |
|
18:37:03 |
claudia |
The next issue of the Clarion should
have great articles for you. |
|
18:37:19 |
gaby |
im looking foward to it |
|
18:38:09 |
gaby |
i need articles to show my midwife she
wants me to get any members from ny whos
had a vba3c |
|
18:38:16 |
gaby |
but im not sure how to go about it |
|
18:38:24 |
claudia |
I need to do some things, can I be back
at 5 pm? |
|
18:38:35 |
gaby |
sure ill see u then |
|
19:02:36 |
claudia |
Hi Amber. |
|
19:03:19 |
claudia |
I am Claudia from ICAN, the
International Cesarean Awareness
Network. |
|
19:05:01 |
marcia |
hello ladies |
|
19:05:26 |
gaby |
hi marcia |
|
19:06:03 |
claudia |
Amber must be off for a while. Hi Gaby
and Marcia. Thanks for waiting. |
|
19:06:10 |
marcia |
np |
|
19:06:37 |
claudia |
Gaby, I found a VBAC after 3 cesarean
story. It is my friend Denise's at
http://www.asac.ab.ca/BI_summer04/bstory_Iskiw.html |
|
19:06:49 |
gaby |
oh ok great |
|
19:07:59 |
claudia |
This is Denise's full VBAC story at
http://www.asac.ab.ca/BI_summer03/brthstry_iskiw.html |
|
19:08:27 |
claudia |
Hi Marcia. Do you have questions? |
|
19:09:30 |
gaby |
brb |
|
19:10:01 |
marcia |
i had a few v/b questions |
|
19:10:08 |
claudia |
Sure. |
|
19:10:29 |
marcia |
& i can't remember except a few people,
who all had v/bs |
|
19:10:55 |
claudia |
Most cesarean moms go on to have more
cesareans, VBACs are the minority. |
|
19:11:05 |
marcia |
well i know everything in the pelvis
stretches for the birth, but how long
does it about take to get back to where
it doesn't hurt any more? |
|
19:11:23 |
claudia |
Your pelvis hurts? |
|
19:11:49 |
marcia |
i don't know if you remember my recent
story, i had a c/s, then i had a v/b for
my baby that died at 37wks, actually i
think it's been 1-1/2wks since her birth |
|
19:12:19 |
claudia |
I am very sorry. What did you name her? |
|
19:12:26 |
marcia |
samantha |
|
19:12:30 |
claudia |
Nice name. |
|
19:12:41 |
marcia |
thank you |
|
19:12:42 |
gaby |
marcia im sorry i remember your story |
|
19:13:16 |
marcia |
it's ok, processing is really starting
now, but i'm just curious as to the
physical things |
|
19:13:36 |
marcia |
i had 'skid marks' (never knew THOSE
would be so dang painful!) & all that's
healed up |
|
19:13:58 |
marcia |
but my PS (pubic s.... something or
other- i can't ever spell it lol) hurts
HORRIBLY |
|
19:15:11 |
claudia |
Your pelvis or the Pubic shympysis
should not hurt. The perineum does for a
while specially with skid marks. |
|
19:16:02 |
marcia |
well the PS does hurt, i thought that
was something that really only occured
if like they put you in those strange
feet-to-ears positions, which we didn't
do at all. |
|
19:16:47 |
marcia |
my midwife had felt it before & said it
felt very stretchy (like cartilage in
the center or something) well whatever
that soft spot is/was, it's now like 3
fingers wide (it was barely one finger
wide before) |
|
19:16:48 |
claudia |
The PS is a cartilage and it sometimes
gets a tear when the legs are separated
too far apart (usually hospitals and
nurses get overeager). |
|
19:19:02 |
marcia |
it all seems to just be bone pain now
tho- b/c my seat bones hurt too like i
fell hard or something, i figured that
was just from stretching too |
|
19:19:41 |
marcia |
but i didn't know if any of this was
stuff i should bring up to the dr. or if
it's just normal v/b recooping |
|
19:20:08 |
claudia |
This injury is very common in athletes.
If it doesn't heal soon there injections
available to strengthen the cartilage. |
|
19:20:48 |
marcia |
OK! umm, i think i can live w/ the pain
better than i can dealing w/ a needle
right there! |
|
19:21:45 |
claudia |
The seating bones have the little tail"
bone. It can get cracked when people
fall down or a mom is laying down flat
on her back during pushing." |
|
19:22:30 |
marcia |
even if she wasn't that big? |
|
19:23:11 |
marcia |
i waited for labor to start so by the
time i birthed her she wasn't as 'firm'
as a live baby |
|
19:23:29 |
claudia |
Big babies don't hurt the pelvis, the
positioning does. Needles, ouch, I know.
I am supposed to be looking into
acupuncture for my cesarean scar. |
|
19:23:57 |
claudia |
How big was Samantha? |
|
19:24:07 |
marcia |
she was 6,4 |
|
19:24:28 |
claudia |
That is average. In which position did
you push? |
|
19:24:38 |
marcia |
but the only thing that spread me was
her shoulders, it's kinda hard to
explain |
|
19:25:21 |
marcia |
i was on my back but that was the most
comfortable for me to push in & b/c of
her state i didn't even have to push,
till her shoulders |
|
19:25:48 |
claudia |
Shoulders are tough to birth, and that
is why we have to wait for them to
slowly turn so that the shoulders are
paralell to the long side of our labia. |
|
19:26:50 |
claudia |
Since Samantha was not alive she could
not help herself turn the shoulders.
Babies are not passive agents during the
birth, they actually climb down. |
|
19:27:11 |
marcia |
my midwife told me that if i have
another baby, it'll be easier b/c the
baby will be working w/ me & the head
will help, etc... |
|
19:27:22 |
claudia |
Yes, she is correct. |
|
19:28:05 |
marcia |
the dr. turned her then we worked to get
the shoulders out- b/c her head didn't
help open me, we got hung up on the
shoulders. |
|
19:28:21 |
marcia |
to tell you the truth, i didn't feel
anything till her shoulders came down |
|
19:28:23 |
claudia |
I see. |
|
19:29:25 |
marcia |
& i have to admit, i think that's why
there wasn't any of that your body's own
pain killers" going on ;)" |
|
19:29:44 |
claudia |
You mean during the birth? |
|
19:29:53 |
marcia |
yeah |
|
19:31:17 |
claudia |
Next time to increase the release of
natural pain killers you need to make
sure: it is warm around you, it is dark,
there is little chit chatting, and
having only people present that you
trust. Besides it was a stressful
situation. |
|
19:31:56 |
claudia |
Hi DawnGold! |
|
19:32:39 |
marcia |
well aside from the actual situation, i
felt REALLY at peace w/ the dr. & my
nurse, then hubby was on my other side.
there wasn't any talking except
encouragement from the nurse which
helped. |
|
19:32:52 |
claudia |
I am glad. |
|
19:33:06 |
claudia |
Women are very tough, eh? |
|
19:33:20 |
marcia |
it's kinda sad to think that b/c of the
situation, that's probly the only reason
i got such a great experience |
|
19:33:45 |
claudia |
You mean a live baby would have meant a
cesarean? |
|
19:33:48 |
gaby |
claudia not to change subjects but i
tried that site and i just cant get to
it |
|
19:33:53 |
marcia |
lol i have a whole new respect for any
v/b-ing mom, that's for sure & i really
think my experience was a good one |
|
19:34:21 |
gaby |
marcia im hoping for a vba3c |
|
19:34:50 |
marcia |
a live baby would have hopefully have
been a homebirth, if i'd stayed w/ the
dr.s (who ended up being the one at the
birth- who i really loved) the lady dr.
would have tried to find a reason for a
c/s |
|
19:35:31 |
claudia |
Gaby the HWBA3C story is also
here...http://www.edmontonvbac.netfirms.com/denisebithstory.html.
Don't know why the other links did not
work. |
|
19:36:03 |
claudia |
A homebirth would have been great, even
with Samantha. |
|
19:36:31 |
gaby |
ok ill try |
|
19:36:59 |
claudia |
DawnGold, do you have any questions? |
|
19:37:02 |
marcia |
me & hubby didn't feel comfortable
having her at home after this & honestly
i'm glad we didn't. the nurses took
care of her (dressing her, etc) b/c we
couldn't handle doing that. |
|
19:37:21 |
claudia |
I can only imagine, Marcia. |
|
19:37:56 |
marcia |
but IF we do decide to have another
later, i will still plan for a hb |
|
19:39:02 |
claudia |
Good. Hospitals should actually be the
last resort.They need the beds for sick
women not healthy ones. Ha ha. |
|
19:39:18 |
marcia |
ITA |
|
19:39:41 |
claudia |
What is your other child's name? |
|
19:40:05 |
marcia |
christopher, he's only 17mo |
|
19:40:36 |
claudia |
He is such a little one. I have a son 8
yrs and a daughter 2. |
|
19:41:23 |
marcia |
yes he is- but i'm glad for him that
he's so young so as not to have to go
thru what we're going thru |
|
19:41:43 |
claudia |
Hi, Jgriebenow! |
|
19:42:19 |
jgriebenow |
Hey there, just surfing and thought I'd
stop in. Sorry I didn't get here at the
beginning. What's the topic at the
moment? |
|
19:43:05 |
claudia |
I am Claudia from ICAN, International
Cesarean Awareness Network. We are
chatting about cesareans and about VBAC<
vaginal birth after cesarean. |
|
19:43:40 |
jgriebenow |
Yep, sounds like I'm in the right place
LOL. |
|
19:43:41 |
marcia |
hi Jenn, how are you? |
|
19:43:59 |
jgriebenow |
I'm Jenny, used to be on the Board and a
Chapter Leader |
|
19:44:26 |
claudia |
Really, Jenny. I am the new Education
Director and I am the CL of Edmonton,
Canada. |
|
19:44:31 |
jgriebenow |
Just wondered what I could contribute
tonight -- can't stay long, have to get
the kids ready for bed. |
|
19:44:32 |
gaby |
hi jenny |
|
19:44:47 |
jgriebenow |
Hi Gaby. |
|
19:45:00 |
claudia |
Gaby is planning her VBA3C and can't
find a midwife or OB yet. |
|
19:45:11 |
jgriebenow |
Claudia, you're the new Ed Director.
Congrats. How's it going? |
|
19:45:13 |
marcia |
where are you at Gabby? |
|
19:45:21 |
gaby |
im in nyc |
|
19:45:43 |
gaby |
u think big city u can find a midwife
whos not scared |
|
19:45:45 |
marcia |
ah dangit, i was hoping you were closer
to IL & i could help you. i haven't a
clue about NY |
|
19:45:51 |
jgriebenow |
Ah, yes, Gaby, I think we've met on a
list, ICAN maybe. You'd think in NYC
you'd have options, ya know? Is it the
three prevs c/s? or or there just not
many mws? |
|
19:46:01 |
claudia |
It is going well. I am really happy
doing this work. I already teach a class
in Edmonton on cesarean avoidance.
Hopefully ICAN will make it a
chapter-wide thing. |
|
19:46:09 |
gaby |
both |
|
19:46:45 |
jgriebenow |
Sigh... that is rough. Traveling an
option? I know, that would not be
easy. I know women have done it, gone
up to MA or elsewhere. |
|
19:47:08 |
marcia |
there's a traveling MW in montana |
|
19:47:17 |
claudia |
Be back in 10 minutes. |
|
19:47:19 |
gaby |
i dont know yet im only 6 weeks so i
have a little time to think |
|
19:47:22 |
marcia |
she travels far & wide |
|
19:47:26 |
gaby |
really |
|
19:47:45 |
marcia |
she's the lady that runs the
www.birthwithlove.com site |
|
19:48:16 |
gaby |
thank u ill look into that |
|
19:48:49 |
jgriebenow |
Of course traveling mws or traveling
yourself makes it more difficult to
connect with your mw, because you aren't
going to see each other as much. |
|
19:49:07 |
jgriebenow |
But it is an option that should be
mentioned I think. |
|
19:49:09 |
marcia |
she only takes a few/year so if you can
get the info you need from/about her &
like her, remember that- that's what she
told me when i inquired right when i
found out i was preg |
|
19:49:21 |
gaby |
i have one mw who might take me but has
to get an ok from an ob from her
hospital i guess as back up |
|
19:49:37 |
jgriebenow |
Marcia did you use or are you going to
use this mw? just curious. |
|
19:49:45 |
gaby |
how many c sections did u have marcia |
|
19:50:10 |
marcia |
i contacted her in march/april when i
got preg. i lost this baby, just had
her 1-1/2wks ago |
|
19:50:40 |
marcia |
i only had one Gaby- that's another
thing, i don't know too much about where
she stands. she's on the HBAC list tho
too if you want to speak w/ her more
thru there maybe |
|
19:51:10 |
marcia |
jenny- i was able to find a local
midwife that we used thru the pregnancy
& were going to use for our hbac |
|
19:51:41 |
jgriebenow |
Marcia, I thought that was you. I'm
sorry, again, about your loss -- just
didn't expect to see you chatting. :-) |
|
19:52:11 |
marcia |
that's ok- i had a few questions i was
hoping to get answers to so i figured
i'd hop in here for some 'real chat' |
|
19:52:52 |
jgriebenow |
I hear my one year old screeching
upstairs and it's 7:50 eastern time so I
better sign off and help dh tuck the
kids in. Gaby if you're not on the HBAC
list (sorry I don't remember) it might
be worth joining to get ideas and
connections. It's not as busy |
|
19:53:15 |
gaby |
i will thanks |
|
19:53:17 |
jgriebenow |
as the ICAN list but supportive and
people will prolly chime in if you post. |
|
19:53:50 |
jgriebenow |
Now that I'm registered and know where
this is it'll be easier to come next
time. Take care all. |
|
19:54:02 |
marcia |
take care Jenny |
|
19:54:02 |
claudia |
Bye, Jenny! |
|
19:54:02 |
gaby |
good night |
|
19:54:11 |
jgriebenow |
thanks |
|
19:54:21 |
gaby |
im going to i have my 2 year old on my
lap and she needs to go to bed |
|
19:54:31 |
marcia |
i'm going to have to get off here too,
my son is getting cranky |
|
19:54:32 |
marcia |
lol |
|
19:54:35 |
claudia |
Bye, Gaby! |
|
19:54:39 |
claudia |
Bye, Marcia! |
|
19:54:41 |
gaby |
thanks for everything |
|
19:54:44 |
claudia |
np |
|
19:54:48 |
gaby |
good night everyone |
|
19:54:52 |
marcia |
bye ladies, take care |
|
19:55:08 |
claudia |
Dawn, we have some time before the end. |
|
19:56:05 |
claudia |
*doorbell* *doorbell* |
|
20:00:33 |
claudia |
Bye, DawnGold. The ICAN chat is now
over. |
