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Cesarean Awareness Chat with ICAN (International Cesarean Awareness Network) --#21
2/22/06

4 mamas in attendance

18:58:04 attachedmama is this the ICAN chat?
19:00:30 attachedmama am I the only one here?
19:04:46 claudia This is Claudia, from ICAN - International Cesarean Awareness Network.
19:06:42 christymomof2 Hi Everyone!
19:06:50 attachedmama oh good, I'm not alone! lol
19:06:50 claudia Hi
19:06:59 christymomof2 Hi Claudia! How are you?
19:07:03 christymomof2 Hi Attached
19:07:08 claudia I am good, and you?
19:07:12 christymomof2 Doing good thanks!
19:07:25 claudia How are things?
19:07:40 attachedmama Hello christy and claudia
19:07:55 claudia Hello A.
19:08:09 christymomof2 Pretty good, although Megan has stopped sleeping through the night, and Noah since graduating to a 'big boy' bed has woken me up at least once every night
19:08:10 christymomof2 lol
19:08:34 attachedmama I'm new
19:08:37 claudia Tired?
19:08:45 christymomof2 how did you guess? LOL
19:08:51 christymomof2 Well welcome Attached!
19:08:56 christymomof2 How did you hear about ICAN?
19:08:56 claudia Attached, you are new? Do you have questions?
19:09:22 claudia This is Claudia from ICAN, by the way.
19:09:26 attachedmama I heard about ICAN through my HBAC yahoo group
19:09:41 christymomof2 LOL...I'm on HBAC, are you a new member there?
19:09:42 claudia Good. I had an HBAC too.
19:09:44 LynnB Hi
19:09:54 claudia Hi Lynn.
19:09:55 attachedmama yeah I just joined a few days ago
19:09:59 attachedmama my name is Ashley
19:10:04 attachedmama if that helps
19:10:05 christymomof2 Hi Lynn! Is this Jeffrey Banauch""
19:10:07 christymomof2 ?
19:10:10 LynnB yes :)
19:10:13 christymomof2 I know I spelled it wrong
19:10:14 christymomof2 lol
19:10:16 LynnB Well Jeffrey is my dh, lol
19:10:23 claudia Hi Ashley. Are you planning an HBAC?
19:10:24 LynnB almost right
19:10:41 christymomof2 that's okay...I have an odd last name too. Never gets spelled right
19:10:53 christymomof2 Thanks for the info on the EWFM by the way
19:10:59 LynnB Hmm, can't think of it, but I got the Christy part LOL
19:11:10 LynnB Hi Claudia, Ashley
19:11:13 attachedmama I am not pregnant yet but plan to be in a month or so, and yes I'm planning an HBAC
19:11:16 christymomof2 it's Fiscer, but pronounced FisHer
19:11:19 claudia What is EWFM?
19:11:21 LynnB aha
19:11:25 christymomof2 Egg white fertile mucous
19:11:27 LynnB oh dear...lol
19:11:47 LynnB yes, we disussed our cervical mucous, sigh
19:12:11 christymomof2 That's really exciting Ashley!
19:12:13 LynnB Ashley - do you mind sharing what state you're in?
19:12:25 christymomof2 Yes Claudia, lol....I may or may not have had fertile mucous already
19:12:37 attachedmama Ohio
19:12:37 christymomof2 and a day after a woops" in not using anything as far as BC"
19:12:42 claudia When were your cesareans, all? Mine was 1997. HBAC 2003.
19:12:56 attachedmama c-sec July 2005
19:12:57 christymomof2 C-section 3-2004
19:12:59 LynnB c/s '02, hbac '04
19:13:05 christymomof2 HBAC 11-2005
19:13:22 claudia All recent
19:13:36 LynnB Yes, it's sad, huh
19:13:43 claudia It never ends
19:13:56 attachedmama I wish I had been more educated about my options when I was pregnant
19:14:01 claudia The silly things that got me my cesarean, still happen to friends of mine
19:14:01 LynnB Well I am in Kentucky my midwife has done some births near Cinci
19:14:05 christymomof2 And it seems like unless women are open to a HBAC, the chance of VBAC right now is slim and none
19:14:41 LynnB right, I felt that when I had to chose where to birth. From the ICAN list, I saw so many hospital births turn c/s, even with the best laid plans
19:14:45 claudia My guess is that most cs moms want a VBAC, but after multiple OB visits they get worn down
19:14:55 christymomof2 Yep Lynn...exactly
19:15:01 christymomof2 We decided on a homebirth at 33 weeks
19:15:04 christymomof2 I was sick of fighting
19:15:05 LynnB It's too bad when you really don't have a choice
19:15:21 LynnB I was thrilled to vbac at home, but I know not everyone wants to do that
19:15:31 christymomof2 It is...but you know what? For me, it ended the best possible way. I'll never step foot in a hospital again for birth, even if everything was supported""
19:15:34 LynnB Exactly Christy
19:15:42 attachedmama I was a little appaled when a friend of mine had an elective c-sec for her second
19:15:56 LynnB Me too. I just want my BODY left alone, please. sigh
19:16:01 claudia I tried to change OBs, then tried a birth center but finally I ended up realizing that to get all my birth plan wishes I needed to stay at home
19:16:24 attachedmama can I ask some HBAC and/or midwife questions?
19:16:24 LynnB It's hard to watch someone CHOOSE a section
19:16:25 christymomof2 Ashley...I have a friend really mad at me right now because I've challenged her choice to have yet another c/s even though I showed her EVERY evidence of her first not only being unnecessary, but also unethical
19:16:31 christymomof2 Sure Ashley!
19:16:55 attachedmama *nervous*
19:17:06 christymomof2 about the question, or about the HBAC?
19:17:12 claudia The success rate of VBAC in hospital is very high 70-80 percent, but with vaginal cesareans (episotomies, etc). Go ahead Asheley.
19:17:13 attachedmama Umm, how did you choose a midwife?
19:17:28 claudia Interview, intervie, interview
19:17:36 christymomof2 I called around. I live in a very set-apart place, where we only have 3 hospitals within an hour radius
19:17:37 claudia Until you click with one
19:17:43 christymomof2 There were only 3 that would come to my town
19:17:51 christymomof2 1 was out of town my last 2 weeks of pregnancy
19:17:54 claudia Ask for references too
19:18:00 christymomof2 1 was too expensive, and too intervention happy
19:18:06 christymomof2 and the third was just perfect
19:18:08 claudia Medwife?
19:18:13 christymomof2 Sounded like it!
19:18:29 christymomof2 She wanted to meet EVERY week, wanted another u/s, allllll my previous records, etc
19:18:42 attachedmama do midwives do prenatal visits, just as you would with an OB?
19:18:42 christymomof2 she seemed too hands ON
19:18:48 LynnB I was blessed to click with the first one!
19:18:49 christymomof2 Yes Ashley
19:19:07 LynnB yes, it's lovely when they actually come to your house for prenatals. I felt so spoiled :P
19:19:28 christymomof2 Mine checked heartrate each time, my blood pressure, weight was up to me--I opted to not weigh myself, and even hemoglobin!
19:19:36 claudia OB visits are 4 minutes, hoembirth midwives around 1 hour
19:19:47 claudia Very spoiled i felt
19:19:52 christymomof2 She even palpated to see that Megan was posterior
19:19:54 christymomof2 little bugger
19:20:10 claudia I am a doula, and OP babies make us work hard
19:20:13 christymomof2 OBs rely too much on technology instead of relationship and listening
19:20:14 attachedmama what was different about getting a birth certificate?
19:20:22 christymomof2 LOL Claudia...I'm becoming a Doula
19:20:31 claudia Cool, Christy
19:20:33 christymomof2 Ashley...you have to have documentation up the wazoo
19:20:45 claudia Ashley, my midwife told me what to get
19:20:46 christymomof2 I'm attending my first birth within the next 2 weeks
19:20:55 claudia Awesome, hospital I guess
19:21:04 christymomof2 Yes, but it's a very crunchy" mama"
19:21:08 christymomof2 she wanted a homebirth, hubby said no
19:21:19 claudia Hubby won?
19:21:20 christymomof2 so she want's me there to tell her NO
19:21:21 christymomof2 lol
19:21:23 christymomof2 yes, he did
19:21:32 claudia Must be good looking
19:21:39 christymomof2 She says he has a sense" about these things, and didn't feel it was safe for them"
19:21:52 christymomof2 Hahaha....well, I don't go for his type, but she loves him!
19:22:06 christymomof2 Claudia, what do you do for OP moms?
19:22:13 christymomof2 I didn't have a doula there, and my labor was HELL
19:22:35 attachedmama can I ask, how old are ya'lls children? (sorry for sounding country, I'm originally from Virginia)
19:22:40 christymomof2 LOL!
19:23:00 claudia My hands are on her back pushing, or I am squeezing her hips. She has to be on all fours. OP moms that is
19:23:16 claudia Son 8, Daughter 2
19:23:21 christymomof2 Kaitlyn is 4 ( vaginal birth, augmented and vacuum assisted ), Noah is 2 next month ( c-section for suspected macrosomia" ) and Megan is 14 weeks old ( wonderful HBAC )"
19:23:41 claudia Lynn?
19:23:44 christymomof2 Claudia, my midwife did double hip squeeze at one point and it was wonderful
19:23:53 claudia Gotta love it
19:23:56 christymomof2 But as far as pressure, my hubby tried, and it hurt more
19:23:58 christymomof2 poor guy
19:24:02 christymomof2 I yelped when he tried
19:24:03 christymomof2 lol
19:24:26 LynnB Sorry, stepped away...kids!
19:24:34 claudia Baby hard head on spine, ouch
19:24:41 claudia Hi Lynn
19:24:41 LynnB 2 ds's - 3 and 1
19:24:50 attachedmama my son is 7 months
19:25:12 attachedmama did any of ya'll feel sad or guilty after you section?
19:25:16 LynnB I am just now wondering why I didnt' try all fours at my hbac
19:25:18 claudia Most of us in ICAN of Edmonton have cesarean sons and VBAC daughters
19:25:26 LynnB oh yes, Ashley!
19:25:34 LynnB bad first year :(
19:25:35 christymomof2 Nope, not at first. Not until I found ICAN and realized it was all unnecessary
19:25:46 christymomof2 I thought my OB saved" me from a big baby"
19:25:55 attachedmama I still fell really guilty
19:26:05 christymomof2 My HBAC baby was a full 2 lbs 2 oz larger than my c-section baby ( He was 8.8, she was 10.10 )
19:26:08 LynnB yes, it's worse when you realize it didnt' have to happen
19:26:28 LynnB What do you feel guilty about?
19:27:16 claudia All negative feelings...started in the OR when OB ignored my questions about the baby's sex. Mine was a failed routine induction cesarean". Ultrasound change due date from Aug 20 to Aug 5. Cs happened Aug 14. I was ignorant."
19:27:51 claudia I feel guilty about not knowing things
19:27:52 christymomof2 I think *most* of our primary c-sections were due to ignorance
19:28:28 claudia My breastfeeding tragedy" lasted 29 days and on day 30 he latched! That was my saving grace."
19:28:35 christymomof2 I was flat out STUPID to think that it would be dangerous" to deliver my son...who, by the way, was *showing* to be only a little over 8 lbs by u/s also"
19:28:39 christymomof2 Wow Claudia!
19:28:46 attachedmama mine was also failed induction (supposedly 12 overdue to thier calculations, 2 over to mine)
19:28:58 claudia Same as me, Ashley
19:29:18 attachedmama i was in labor 36 hours
19:29:42 claudia Me, 26 hours. I teach a class on cesarean avoidance in Edmonton. I tell women to avoid what happened to me.
19:29:43 attachedmama and the dr came up and said you're fine and the baby is fine, its just been too long
19:29:47 attachedmama so i agreed
19:29:54 claudia How far dilated?
19:29:55 christymomof2 oh wow
19:30:03 LynnB I was also a failed induction. It is hard to forgive yourself for not having the knowledge to avoid a c/s. But it isn't really a fair playing field
19:30:05 attachedmama 6 and 1/2 cm
19:30:18 christymomof2 No it's not Lynn
19:30:18 claudia I was 3 cm for 12 hours.
19:30:22 LynnB I am really sorry, Ashley (((hug)))
19:30:36 attachedmama i guess Simon was just NOT ready to come out lol
19:30:44 attachedmama thanks
19:30:55 christymomof2 With Megan ( HBAC ) I had 3 weeks of prodromal labor, 4 days of *actual* labor, followed by 10 1/2 hours of transition
19:31:02 christymomof2 with a little over an hour of pushing
19:31:09 christymomof2 NO OB would have let me go that long
19:31:36 christymomof2 especially since I delivered her at 41w4days
19:31:43 christymomof2 and she was 10lbs10oz
19:31:54 christymomof2 I know for a fact I would have had another c/s
19:32:00 claudia My body was confused: pgel, pitocin, morphine, demerol, epidural, bed rest at 3 cm for 12 hours. My VBAC was almost 2 days, would have been sectioned in any hospital even though I was fine.
19:32:11 christymomof2 Yep Claudia
19:32:29 claudia Yahoo for you too
19:32:34 LynnB Maya Angelou says that When you know better, you do better"...it really is true. Few of us realized how knowledgeable we would have to become about birth to advocate for ourselves! But so many of us were able to make it different the next time around!"
19:32:43 attachedmama I think if they had just let Simon come in his own time, none of it would've happened
19:32:59 LynnB Exactly what I think about my c/s baby as well.
19:33:01 christymomof2 Ashley, unfortunately, that's a truth many of us have realized
19:33:22 LynnB That's good that you know that. It helps if you still believe your body was just fine...just not given a chance
19:33:32 claudia Patience would have done it for me too, Ashley. HBAC moms become mini-obstetricians, hee hee.
19:33:41 christymomof2 LOL!
19:33:44 attachedmama lol
19:33:46 LynnB Many women feel broken - I am fortunate that I knew I was just messed around with too much
19:33:57 christymomof2 Exactly. My friends now think I'm nuts and tooooooo know it all" about pregnancy and birth"
19:34:29 claudia Quick, ask me for the cesarean rate in Timbuktu...ha ha. I drive everyone up the wall with my facts
19:34:48 christymomof2 My friend that I spoke of before, she had her primary c-section *before* labor ever began, because they told her that her son was TOO big to fit through her pelvis
19:34:53 LynnB yes, we are now the freaks, sad, huh?
19:34:56 christymomof2 No labor, no pelvimetry exam
19:35:01 christymomof2 Just TOLD her.
19:35:11 claudia Shoe size?
19:35:15 LynnB It is radical to question a doctor...
19:35:20 claudia They asked my friend that
19:35:21 LynnB esp. an OB!
19:35:33 christymomof2 Now she's pregnant with #2, and I've sent her every piece of information to show her it's IMPOSSIBLE to diagnose CPD before pushing
19:35:50 christymomof2 and she STILL thinks the c/s was valid
19:36:15 attachedmama I told my MIL that we'll be having an HBAC for next baby, she looked me in the eye and said You're nuts!".....which isn't graet because I don't deal well with critisicm"
19:36:16 LynnB that's so frustrating Christy!
19:36:18 christymomof2 Yep Lynn...that's for sure. LOL....I'm trying desperately to talk my best friend into at least a birth center birth with her first child
19:36:18 claudia My doula clients tell me about they past cesareans, and it is CPD with FTP. Can't have that! It is either raining or snowing not both.
19:36:36 christymomof2 Yep Claudia...exactly
19:36:43 christymomof2 and nevermind that I don't believe in either
19:36:44 christymomof2 lol
19:36:50 LynnB Oh, I know, Ashley. My MIL used to be an L&D nurse!
19:37:11 christymomof2 Ashley...my grandmother in law was a nurse forever, and she told us we were being dangerous
19:37:14 LynnB It's sometimes better not to share your plans, so that you don't have to deal with the negativity
19:37:34 christymomof2 Yep....LOL...I was ready to punch the next person that asked is that safe?""
19:37:40 attachedmama Yeah, I'm starting to see that
19:37:54 attachedmama but we do alot of unpopular" things, so it's not new"
19:37:59 christymomof2 And I'm now ready to scream when people find out about my homebirth and say I'm glad that was safe for you""
19:38:00 LynnB lol
19:38:09 christymomof2 I'm going to start responding like that when I hear of hospital births
19:38:10 christymomof2 rofl
19:38:27 claudia Lynn, Ashley and Christy...lovely to chat with you. You seem to be doing okay without me. Gotta run to do some more ICAN Board work. (((Hugs)))

 

 

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