| 21:09:26 |
Webmama_Tina |
ok obviously this chat is alot
more relaxed since its small....lol |
| 21:09:31 |
PDMod_Kelly |
My kids are older so I need for
you moms to remind me how it is with young kids. |
| 21:09:35 |
Webmama_Tina |
welcome lexysmom! |
| 21:09:46 |
LexysMom |
Hi all! |
| 21:09:50 |
momofgng |
hello |
| 21:09:50 |
PDMod_Kelly |
I really do forget sometimes how
hard it was then. |
| 21:09:55 |
Webmama_Tina |
ok lets get started, shall we...i'm
sure we all have discipline questions burning within us |
| 21:10:00 |
Stacy_G. |
My oldest is almost 7 and he is
my hardest by far. |
| 21:10:05 |
Webmama_Tina |
i promise not to monopolize the
chat with my problems this time.... |
| 21:10:11 |
Stacy_G. |
I have a question |
| 21:10:18 |
Webmama_Tina |
kelly how about you introduce
yourself first |
| 21:10:27 |
Stacy_G. |
no me me me! :D |
| 21:10:34 |
Webmama_Tina |
LOL |
| 21:10:43 |
Webmama_Tina |
hang tight stac! LOL |
| 21:10:43 |
mraven721 |
sorry, I'm back. |
| 21:10:46 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Okay. I'm Kelly, Mom to a son,
age 11 and a daughter, age 8. I've been teaching parenting
classes for 5 years. |
| 21:10:50 |
Webmama_Tina |
welcome back mraven! |
| 21:10:51 |
mraven721 |
what's going on |
| 21:11:04 |
PDMod_Kelly |
I've been practicing Positive
Discipline for 9 years. |
| 21:11:19 |
Webmama_Tina |
kelly is introducing herself and
then we'll start with discipline questions for her....we're
going to take turns |
| 21:11:34 |
PDMod_Kelly |
I LOVE Positive Discipline and it
has saved my sanity! |
| 21:11:51 |
Webmama_Tina |
you are the guru, kelly |
| 21:11:58 |
Webmama_Tina |
*bows to kelly* i learn much from
you! |
| 21:12:08 |
momofgng |
applause..applause |
| 21:12:08 |
Webmama_Tina |
*applause* |
| 21:12:21 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Well, I've made just about every
parenting mistake there is to make so there is that! |
| 21:12:39 |
PDMod_Kelly |
But as Jane Nelsen tells
us........................................ |
| 21:12:45 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Have the courage to be
imperfect."" |
| 21:12:46 |
PDMod_Kelly |
and |
| 21:12:54 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Mistakes are wonderful
opportunities to learn."" |
| 21:13:10 |
Webmama_Tina |
welcome jenn! kelly is
introducing herself and then we are going to start taking turns
asking her our discipline questions |
| 21:13:18 |
Webmama_Tina |
you betcha, kelly |
| 21:13:20 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Thank you, thank you from the
bottom of my imperfect heart! |
| 21:13:24 |
Webmama_Tina |
:) |
| 21:13:30 |
Webmama_Tina |
ok stacy, you're first! |
| 21:13:36 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Hi Stacy. |
| 21:13:36 |
Stacy_G. |
Woo hoo! |
| 21:13:45 |
Stacy_G. |
Thank you for letting me go
first. I'm pushy sorry! |
| 21:14:01 |
Stacy_G. |
My question is about my 7 yr old.
He will be seven in November. |
| 21:14:08 |
Webmama_Tina |
since we are a small group i
think we can handle doing this by just taking turns....if it
gets too big i'll moderate a little more...but for now, just
wait till i tell ya its your turn |
| 21:14:39 |
Stacy_G. |
something just happen and it fits
Airon to a T so I'll just describe it. He told me that he wanted
to make his own website. |
| 21:14:48 |
Stacy_G. |
I said, ok, but not tonight. |
| 21:14:57 |
PDMod_Kelly |
yes. |
| 21:15:01 |
Webmama_Tina |
after each question i'll ask who
else has a question and we will go from there |
| 21:15:02 |
Stacy_G. |
It is 7 pm and bedtime is soon so
I didn't want to get started. |
| 21:15:31 |
Stacy_G. |
So, he says to me: You better let
me or I'll pull your hair out. Then, he reached over and pulled
several strands of my hair out and it really hurt! |
| 21:15:58 |
Stacy_G. |
He has this way of talking: You
better let me or I'll ____ >insert whatever floats his boat.< |
| 21:16:20 |
Stacy_G. |
Let me clarify and say that we
have a pretty great PD foundation. |
| 21:16:25 |
Webmama_Tina |
hi dawn! welcome to the positive
discipline chat! |
| 21:16:35 |
Stacy_G. |
He is generally well-behaved, but
when he does stuff it is usually very hard to figure out what to
do. |
| 21:16:47 |
Webmama_Tina |
we're taking turns asking kelly,
our resident positive discipline expert, our discipline
questions |
| 21:17:02 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Stacy, so you have any idea where
he learned that way of handling problems? |
| 21:17:08 |
Stacy_G. |
He is well behaved in public. He
is kind to other children and animals. He is mean to his
brothers and is quite rude to me at times. |
| 21:17:12 |
Stacy_G. |
Hmmm... |
| 21:17:16 |
PDMod_Kelly |
I mean, do any of his friends
handle problems this way or anyone that he sees often? |
| 21:17:30 |
Stacy_G. |
Not that I can think of right
off-hand. |
| 21:17:39 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Okay. |
| 21:17:48 |
Stacy_G. |
I am pretty straightforward so he
may be trying to immulate me, but being mean instead. |
| 21:17:50 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Do you and he get to spend any
special one on one time together each week? |
| 21:17:53 |
Stacy_G. |
I do not hurt him though. |
| 21:18:29 |
Webmama_Tina |
hi mommytocali! missed your
entrance! welcome to the positive discipline chat! |
| 21:18:36 |
Stacy_G. |
Not really. I have three boys
total. one is 2 and the other is 4. I take Airon to school by
himself once perweek. |
| 21:18:37 |
mommytocali |
thanks tina |
| 21:18:48 |
Webmama_Tina |
:) |
| 21:19:04 |
Stacy_G. |
He is homeschooled, but attends
charter enrichment classes two days per week. |
| 21:19:07 |
Webmama_Tina |
we're taking turns asking kelly,
our resident positive discipline expert, our discipline
questions |
| 21:19:39 |
PDMod_Kelly |
I think it might be really
helpful to find some time once or twice a week that you can
spend with just him, even if it is just 15 - 20 minutes. |
| 21:19:56 |
PDMod_Kelly |
I know it's hard to fit in. You
have to get creative. |
| 21:20:28 |
Stacy_G. |
Ok. I guess I do feel like I'm
with him ALL the time. LOL Maybe I'm just missing something. |
| 21:21:00 |
PDMod_Kelly |
I only have two kids so that
makes it a little easier. But on Wednesdays while my son is in
Tae Kwon Do class, my daughter and I do something together.
Today we went to Dunkin Doughnuts and took a game to play --the
game Othello. |
| 21:21:21 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Then I took my daughter to her
Tae Kwon Do class next and my son and I went to Starbucks and
played chess. |
| 21:21:37 |
Stacy_G. |
coffee and donuts?? My dream! |
| 21:21:37 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Have you read any of Jane
Nelsen's PD books? |
| 21:21:46 |
PDMod_Kelly |
She discusses spending special
time there. |
| 21:21:50 |
Webmama_Tina |
so how do you respond when a
child does something so extreme, kelly? as far as something to
say to him right then and there...i have some outlandish
behavior with maeven too sometimes and i'm always looking for
words to use...i'm sure stacy could use some too |
| 21:21:53 |
Stacy_G. |
I don't think I have. I've read a
lot of PD books. |
| 21:22:10 |
Stacy_G. |
Yes! I mean he caused me physical
pain and what was I to do? |
| 21:22:18 |
Stacy_G. |
Even my toddler and preschooler
don't do that yk? |
| 21:22:44 |
Webmama_Tina |
of course the first thing is
prevention, like you are talking about...but what DOES one do
when a child strikes out like that? |
| 21:22:45 |
PDMod_Kelly |
First I think it's important to
go back to the root of the problem. Do you know about the
mistaken goals of misbehavior. |
| 21:22:53 |
PDMod_Kelly |
? |
| 21:23:13 |
Stacy_G. |
No, go ahead. |
| 21:23:20 |
PDMod_Kelly |
I will address what to do in a
sec. |
| 21:23:26 |
Webmama_Tina |
ok :) |
| 21:23:45 |
Stacy_G. |
I know we must teach them what to
know instead of punishing them for what they don't know. |
| 21:23:46 |
PDMod_Kelly |
The four mistaken goals of
misbehavior are undue attention, power, revenge and assumed
inadequacy. |
| 21:24:03 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Children (and adults) have one
main goal in life. |
| 21:24:17 |
PDMod_Kelly |
They want to belong" in whatever
setting they are in." |
| 21:24:34 |
Stacy_G. |
Yes. |
| 21:24:36 |
Webmama_Tina |
definitely! |
| 21:24:46 |
Stacy_G. |
Sort of a Continuum Concept
feeling. |
| 21:25:01 |
Shanka |
hello |
| 21:25:07 |
Stacy_G. |
Hey Hi Shanka! |
| 21:25:18 |
PDMod_Kelly |
There are ways for children to
feel belonging and significance" in positive, productive ways." |
| 21:25:57 |
PDMod_Kelly |
BUT children get the mistaken
idea that in order to belong, they need to use the strategy of
one of the four mistaken goals. |
| 21:26:18 |
PDMod_Kelly |
So they MISTAKENLY believe that
in order to belong, they must either have |
| 21:26:22 |
PDMod_Kelly |
undue attention |
| 21:26:23 |
PDMod_Kelly |
or power |
| 21:26:30 |
Stacy_G. |
Hmmm...what book are you
referencing from (life of course!). I'd love to read it. |
| 21:26:41 |
PDMod_Kelly |
or they feel that they can't
belong and they feel hurt, and they want to hurt back. |
| 21:26:46 |
PDMod_Kelly |
That's revenge. |
| 21:27:11 |
mraven721 |
? |
| 21:27:15 |
PDMod_Kelly |
OR they give up and think there
is no way to belong. That's called assumed inadequacy. That's
more like depression and isn't as common. |
| 21:27:35 |
PDMod_Kelly |
The book is called Positive
Discipline" by Jane Nelsen." |
| 21:27:39 |
Stacy_G. |
Well, I take it these things are
quick reactions? I mean he was having fun I thought. |
| 21:27:48 |
Stacy_G. |
Thanks. I'll put it on my list. |
| 21:27:53 |
PDMod_Kelly |
One key to discovering a child's
mistaken goal is how YOU feel when they are misbehaving. |
| 21:28:06 |
Stacy_G. |
Um...irritated? LOL |
| 21:28:27 |
Webmama_Tina |
welcome, ellie, to the positive
discipline chat! |
| 21:28:37 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Here are the four catagories to
choose from. Irritated IS in one of the catagories. |
| 21:28:38 |
Stacy_G. |
I would definitely describe my
reaction as irritated although I was plan out mad when he pulled
my hair. |
| 21:28:41 |
ellie |
thank you it is my first time
here |
| 21:28:45 |
PDMod_Kelly |
a)Irritated, worred, guilty? |
| 21:28:47 |
Stacy_G. |
Hi eelie. |
| 21:28:56 |
PDMod_Kelly |
b)challenged, threatened,
provoked? |
| 21:28:57 |
Webmama_Tina |
we are taking turns asking our
resident positive discipline expert, kelly, our discipline
questions |
| 21:29:05 |
PDMod_Kelly |
c)hurt, disappointed,
disbelieving? |
| 21:29:06 |
Stacy_G. |
Most of the time--all of the
above, aside from tonight when I felt b. |
| 21:29:11 |
PDMod_Kelly |
d)hopeless, helpless |
| 21:29:15 |
Stacy_G. |
rarely. |
| 21:29:18 |
Webmama_Tina |
right now its stacy's turn and
when she's done i'll ask for someone to go next |
| 21:29:26 |
Stacy_G. |
sorry I'm taking so much time! |
| 21:29:39 |
Webmama_Tina |
no worries stacy...these things
take time! :) |
| 21:29:46 |
Stacy_G. |
Most often a. Sometimes b. rarely
c or d. |
| 21:29:52 |
PDMod_Kelly |
No, it's okay Stacy. I think
others can learn alot about the mistaken goals if they haven't
heard them before. |
| 21:30:04 |
Webmama_Tina |
absolutely |
| 21:30:14 |
PDMod_Kelly |
A translates to UNDUE ATTENTION |
| 21:30:17 |
Webmama_Tina |
and even those of us who HAVE
heard them...still trying to learn them! LOL |
| 21:30:21 |
PDMod_Kelly |
B translates to POWER |
| 21:30:27 |
Stacy_G. |
The little kids stuff comes easy
to me. It is the older kid stuff that leaves me scratching my
head. |
| 21:30:30 |
PDMod_Kelly |
C translates to REVENGE |
| 21:30:39 |
PDMod_Kelly |
D is ASSUMED INADEQUACY. |
| 21:30:52 |
Stacy_G. |
eek! Does this mean [b]I[/b] give
him undue attention? |
| 21:30:59 |
Stacy_G. |
oops. html doesn't work here. |
| 21:31:04 |
Webmama_Tina |
welcome, sarah, to the positive
discipline discipline chat! |
| 21:31:19 |
Stacy_G. |
If it is me giving him undue
attention that kind of makes sense. |
| 21:31:38 |
Stacy_G. |
I'm not sure about the Power one.
I'd need more information. |
| 21:31:43 |
PDMod_Kelly |
It means that he mistakenly
believes that in order to belong, he must have extra attention,
special service, etc. |
| 21:32:07 |
Stacy_G. |
OIC- This kind of fits in with
what is going on with him. |
| 21:32:16 |
PDMod_Kelly |
If he has the mistaken goal of
power, he mistakenly believes that in order to belong, he must
be in charge or make sure that no one can make him do anything. |
| 21:32:19 |
Webmama_Tina |
j24601! |
| 21:32:26 |
Webmama_Tina |
lemme guess......les miz fan? |
| 21:32:36 |
Webmama_Tina |
welcome to the positive
discipline chat! |
| 21:32:39 |
PDMod_Kelly |
If he has the mistaken goal of
revenge, he feels like he doesn't belong and he feels hurt, so
he hurts back. |
| 21:32:40 |
Stacy_G. |
Very interesting. So, what can I
do to bring more of a balance? |
| 21:32:47 |
i24601 |
Yes :D |
| 21:32:52 |
elsie |
hi everyone |
| 21:32:54 |
i24601 |
hello! |
| 21:33:06 |
Webmama_Tina |
we're taking turns asking kelly,
our resident positive discipline expert, our discipline
questions |
| 21:33:08 |
Stacy_G. |
Hi elsie! :) |
| 21:33:08 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Children need lots of
opportunities to belong in meaningful ways. |
| 21:33:18 |
Webmama_Tina |
right now its stacy's turn, and
then we'll let someone else ask a question |
| 21:33:44 |
PDMod_Kelly |
This includes things like the
special time that I mentioned above, but also includes things
like doing meaningful chores at home and you not doing things
for him that he can do for himself. |
| 21:33:53 |
PDMod_Kelly |
He needs to feel as capable as
possible. |
| 21:33:56 |
Stacy_G. |
ahh... ok. |
| 21:34:16 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Also he needs some training in
solving problems in ways that don't hurt others. |
| 21:34:29 |
Stacy_G. |
Yes! I feel like I keep spinning
my wheels on this one. |
| 21:35:00 |
Stacy_G. |
I try to use active listening and
other techniques, but I have troubles stopping his physical
reactions now that he is big. |
| 21:35:02 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Using his words to tell when he's
angry, getting his anger out in appropriate ways, asking
questions such as When WOULD be a good time to work on my
website?"" |
| 21:35:25 |
Webmama_Tina |
welcome to the positive
discipline chat! |
| 21:35:31 |
Stacy_G. |
He recoils from physical touch
during these times so I can't draw him onto my lap to help him.
He either hides or turns into a stiff board and fights against
me. |
| 21:35:37 |
PDMod_Kelly |
One thing that helps kids is to
role play that they are angry and let them make a short list of
ideas of things they can do to calm down. |
| 21:35:41 |
Webmama_Tina |
we're taking turns asking kelly,
our resident positive discipline expert, our discipline
questions |
| 21:36:06 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Things like going outside and
stomping their feet, drawing about their feelings, hitting a
pillow in their room, etc. |
| 21:36:25 |
Stacy_G. |
As I mentioned before, he has
these problems with his brothers and myself and dh, but not
peers. |
| 21:36:30 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Then they can role play their
ideas to see which ideas seem most helpful to calm down. |
| 21:36:53 |
Stacy_G. |
Ok. |
| 21:37:00 |
Stacy_G. |
I can do that. |
| 21:37:00 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Then when they are angry, help
them to go to the list (or bring it to them) so they can try to
choose something from the list. |
| 21:37:03 |
Webmama_Tina |
this is useful info for all of
us, i think! |
| 21:37:12 |
Stacy_G. |
I think actually writing it down
might be helpful for him. |
| 21:37:21 |
Webmama_Tina |
my mom used to have my brother
run around the house when he got angry, lol |
| 21:37:27 |
Stacy_G. |
:D |
| 21:37:28 |
Webmama_Tina |
around the OUTSIDE of the house |
| 21:37:42 |
Webmama_Tina |
he had a violent temper, she
really taught him to control it |
| 21:37:53 |
Stacy_G. |
So he improved? |
| 21:37:56 |
PDMod_Kelly |
I'm wondering if he is feeling a
little hurt. |
| 21:37:56 |
Webmama_Tina |
oh yes |
| 21:38:01 |
Stacy_G. |
about?? |
| 21:38:13 |
Stacy_G. |
...and probably. :( |
| 21:38:17 |
Webmama_Tina |
he is an adult now and does not
have a violent temper at all |
| 21:38:21 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Because he doesn't feel like he
belongs. |
| 21:38:32 |
Stacy_G. |
Poor guy. :( |
| 21:38:42 |
Webmama_Tina |
i really think my mom making him
go run out his anger and beat and bite it out in pillows had a
lot to do with him being able to control it now |
| 21:38:50 |
PDMod_Kelly |
You and I know that you love him
more than life itself. |
| 21:38:56 |
Stacy_G. |
You are right. |
| 21:39:16 |
Stacy_G. |
I've resisted chores because I
want him to just pitch in. He does that too if I ask. |
| 21:39:29 |
PDMod_Kelly |
But sharing mom and dad with his
little brothers is hard at times I'm guessing. |
| 21:39:40 |
PDMod_Kelly |
That's great that he wants to
help. |
| 21:39:42 |
Stacy_G. |
I've also resisted chores because
he doesn't deal too well with change, so I wanted to do it
slowly. |
| 21:39:59 |
elsie |
i resist chores with mine right
now too |
| 21:40:02 |
PDMod_Kelly |
The reason I think chores are
great is because it gives children opportunities to feel
signficant on an everyday basis. |
| 21:40:16 |
Stacy_G. |
I'm sure you are right Kelly. My
4 yr old *still* won't do anything for himself (but that is a
whole other question that i wont' ask right now! LOL) |
| 21:40:20 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Something really easy to start
with is a supper job wheel made out of two paper plates. |
| 21:40:28 |
PDMod_Kelly |
It's a way of rotating the dinner
jobs each night. |
| 21:40:33 |
Stacy_G. |
So, that makes two brothers who
physically need me much of the day. |
| 21:40:35 |
PDMod_Kelly |
We started with this when my kids
were very young. |
| 21:40:44 |
Stacy_G. |
Neat idea! |
| 21:41:04 |
Stacy_G. |
supper job? Like a job to do at
dinner time? |
| 21:41:22 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Family Fun magazine had a copy of
the paper plate wheel in a recent issue. I'll look on their
website and see if I can post a link. |
| 21:41:24 |
Webmama_Tina |
i like that idea! |
| 21:41:28 |
Stacy_G. |
thanks! |
| 21:41:29 |
willowsmom |
Hey everyone |
| 21:41:34 |
Stacy_G. |
Hi willowsmom. |
| 21:41:34 |
Webmama_Tina |
hi willowsmom! |
| 21:41:37 |
willowsmom |
Hi :) |
| 21:41:39 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Can you moms chat for a sec while
I look? |
| 21:41:40 |
Webmama_Tina |
welcome to the positive
discipline chat! |
| 21:41:43 |
elsie |
hiya willowsmom |
| 21:41:46 |
Webmama_Tina |
sure kelly |
| 21:41:47 |
willowsmom |
YAY I made it!!! lol: :) |
| 21:41:50 |
willowsmom |
Hi Elsie :) |
| 21:41:52 |
Webmama_Tina |
YAY! |
| 21:41:57 |
Webmama_Tina |
*applause* |
| 21:42:02 |
Stacy_G. |
I can always chat. LOL |
| 21:42:02 |
willowsmom |
lol |
| 21:42:10 |
Webmama_Tina |
*whoopee* |
| 21:42:11 |
Stacy_G. |
*doorbell* |
| 21:42:11 |
elsie |
i'm changing colors, i think |
| 21:42:19 |
Webmama_Tina |
Its a good idea to change your
font color to help distinguish you from other chatters. To do
this, please click on the first button on the left, below the
large content box (where messages appear). |
| 21:42:22 |
momofgng |
but can you chat and nurse at the
same time? |
| 21:42:34 |
Webmama_Tina |
:nak: |
| 21:42:37 |
willowsmom |
I sure can. lol |
| 21:42:40 |
Stacy_G. |
That is so cute!! |
| 21:42:43 |
elsie |
lol |
| 21:42:44 |
mommytocali |
me tOO |
| 21:42:51 |
mommytocali |
haha |
| 21:42:51 |
Stacy_G. |
She looks like she is nursing an
alien baby. |
| 21:42:53 |
elsie |
i remember doing just that! |
| 21:42:55 |
willowsmom |
Been doing it for 15 months...I
better be able to do it by now. lol |
| 21:43:12 |
willowsmom |
ok Now I'm just playing with
colors. lol |
| 21:43:16 |
Stacy_G. |
Mine should be here any minute
for *nurty!* |
| 21:43:24 |
Webmama_Tina |
oh heck ya |
| 21:43:34 |
Webmama_Tina |
spent my dd's whole first year
nak'n! lol |
| 21:43:40 |
Webmama_Tina |
and then some |
| 21:43:53 |
momofgng |
now i truly feel like i belong"" |
| 21:43:56 |
Stacy_G. |
:toddlerbf |
| 21:44:01 |
Stacy_G. |
This icon is funny. |
| 21:44:03 |
willowsmom |
I posted something to the
ivillage board about a friend of mine....Have any of ya'll had
friends or family that were big on spanking and they made YOU
feel stupid because you didn't? |
| 21:44:06 |
willowsmom |
lol |
| 21:44:06 |
Webmama_Tina |
yeah that graphic slows things
down though...i really should take it out of the menu |
| 21:44:15 |
keebler |
i'm actually reading 'mothering
your nursing toddler' right now to get help with my 12 month old |
| 21:44:20 |
willowsmom |
I love that book. |
| 21:44:22 |
Stacy_G. |
oops! sorry. |
| 21:44:29 |
willowsmom |
It's the one of the best Keebler |
| 21:44:29 |
Webmama_Tina |
now its really slow |
| 21:44:31 |
Stacy_G. |
That is a great book. I like it
very much. |
| 21:44:34 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Okay, I couldn't find it quickly. |
| 21:44:38 |
elsie |
i used that book too |
| 21:44:43 |
PDMod_Kelly |
I mean, I haven't found it. |
| 21:44:44 |
Stacy_G. |
I'm not having slow issues, but
I'm sorry I posted the icon. |
| 21:44:50 |
Webmama_Tina |
yay keLLY! |
| 21:44:53 |
willowsmom |
I run our local LLL library...so
I have access to it every day. :) |
| 21:44:55 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Anyway, you just use two cheap
white paper plates. |
| 21:44:56 |
Stacy_G. |
Is it for all chores? |
| 21:45:05 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Cut the rim off of one of them
and attach the plates together with a brad. |
| 21:45:17 |
Webmama_Tina |
oh woops i mean oh no |
| 21:45:21 |
Webmama_Tina |
i read that wrong |
| 21:45:30 |
Webmama_Tina |
i canNOT read today! |
| 21:45:33 |
willowsmom |
lol |
| 21:45:33 |
Webmama_Tina |
lol |
| 21:45:53 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Write the family members' names
on the larger plate around the rim and write the jobs on the
smaller plate. Rotate the wheel" each night to rotate the dinner
jobs." |
| 21:46:08 |
PDMod_Kelly |
I have only used it for dinner
jobs. |
| 21:46:12 |
momofgng |
i need to make one of those for
my husband! |
| 21:46:14 |
Stacy_G. |
Neat idea. |
| 21:46:19 |
Webmama_Tina |
what kind of jobs? |
| 21:46:21 |
elsie |
thats a great idea... |
| 21:46:22 |
Stacy_G. |
lol momofgng |
| 21:46:23 |
keebler |
I just started reading it with
hopes of getting my little guy to sit still while he nurses. he
is usually too interested in what his big brother is doing (he's
5). |
| 21:46:24 |
PDMod_Kelly |
You have to have one job per
family member, so we have four jobs. |
| 21:46:32 |
elsie |
wish i had enough people in my
house to do it! hahaha |
| 21:46:42 |
Stacy_G. |
I'll have paper plate wheels all
over the house. |
| 21:46:50 |
Webmama_Tina |
ok kelly's back, lets get back to
the questions.... :) |
| 21:46:50 |
Stacy_G. |
We'll be spinning our heads off.
LOL |
| 21:46:53 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Our four jobs are 1. Set the
table, 2. Fix the drinks, 3. Put out the condiments, 4. Help
cook. |
| 21:47:00 |
willowsmom |
Did ya'll see my question? lol |
| 21:47:26 |
Stacy_G. |
I'll have bathroom jobs, bedtime
jobs, laundry jobs, etc... |
| 21:47:30 |
Stacy_G. |
Just kidding. |
| 21:47:37 |
Webmama_Tina |
the spanking one willow? yeah but
no i haven't had that happen |
| 21:47:42 |
Stacy_G. |
Ok. I can step back down and let
you talk with someone else. |
| 21:47:46 |
willowsmom |
l :) |
| 21:47:47 |
Stacy_G. |
Thank you for your help. |
| 21:47:54 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Oh, I have had that happen
several times Willow. |
| 21:48:02 |
Stacy_G. |
I'll check out the book and
re-evaluate Airon's place in our family. |
| 21:48:03 |
Webmama_Tina |
ok who has a burning question for
kelLY? |
| 21:48:05 |
Stacy_G. |
(again!) |
| 21:48:08 |
PDMod_Kelly |
I had one friend tell me, Oh, you
just don't know. You WILL spank them."" |
| 21:48:10 |
momofgng |
me me |
| 21:48:11 |
willowsmom |
I'm worried about sticking my
nose" where it doesn't belong...." |
| 21:48:15 |
willowsmom |
Yeah...that's what she says to
me. |
| 21:48:20 |
Webmama_Tina |
ok MOMOFGNG....you're next |
| 21:48:21 |
elsie |
ive had that happen to me too,
including at work |
| 21:48:35 |
willowsmom |
And she uses spanking as a
preventative measure....first resort...not last. |
| 21:48:44 |
willowsmom |
And she thinks I'M crazy |
| 21:48:47 |
momofgng |
i keep children in my home and
have a 17 month old biter" on my hands" |
| 21:48:51 |
Webmama_Tina |
geez willow, that's so sad |
| 21:49:03 |
Webmama_Tina |
oh a biter, not a fun problem |
| 21:49:07 |
willowsmom |
I agree.. |
| 21:49:26 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Young kids can so lots of simple
cooking tasks such as laying out taco shells or biscuits on a
cold cookie sheet or grating cheese with the rotary grater or
washing vegetables --all with supervision and training of
course. |
| 21:49:32 |
momofgng |
unfortunately my 2 year old has
been on the receiving end 2 times this week |
| 21:49:47 |
willowsmom |
Does your 17month old like books
Mom? |
| 21:49:50 |
Webmama_Tina |
i'm interested in kelly's answer
to this because the very same issue was on doctor phil this
week...and we all know HE'S not a positive discipline expert! |
| 21:50:07 |
Stacy_G. |
Ah come on...don't you just yell
at them and send them to the corner? |
| 21:50:11 |
willowsmom |
We're getting it for Willow this
holiday....Teeth are not for biting (as well as Hands are not
for hitting) |
| 21:50:13 |
PDMod_Kelly |
A HUGE part of Jane Nelsen's
Positve Discipline is giving children opportunties to feel
significant and that they (the children) contribute in
meaningful ways. |
| 21:50:15 |
Stacy_G. |
Dr. Phil tells toddler how it is. |
| 21:50:16 |
momofgng |
he does like books |
| 21:50:20 |
Stacy_G. |
:D |
| 21:50:27 |
Stacy_G. |
Sorry, I was being sarcastic. |
| 21:50:30 |
willowsmom |
lol |
| 21:50:30 |
momofgng |
i saw the dr. phil thing |
| 21:50:37 |
PDMod_Kelly |
This can mean holding your purse
while you pay for items at the store or handing the check to the
cashier. Get kids involved in what you are doing. Let them help! |
| 21:50:42 |
willowsmom |
I didn't...fortunately....what
did he say? |
| 21:50:44 |
Webmama_Tina |
lol STACY |
| 21:50:50 |
Stacy_G. |
Those are great ideas Kelly. |
| 21:51:06 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Oh? What was the issue on Dr.
Phil? |
| 21:51:15 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Biting? |
| 21:51:18 |
Webmama_Tina |
the biting issue...did you miss
MOMOFGNG's question? |
| 21:51:20 |
Webmama_Tina |
:) |
| 21:51:32 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Is that our next question? |
| 21:51:38 |
PDMod_Kelly |
The 17 month old biting? |
| 21:51:59 |
PDMod_Kelly |
I saw it . Just wanted to make
sure we had wrapped up. |
| 21:52:04 |
willowsmom |
MomofGNG have you seen the books
Teeth Are Not For Biting or Hands are Not For Hitting? It may be
something you can use with other things to reinforce not
biting... |
| 21:52:04 |
PDMod_Kelly |
I know that was a LONG first
answer. |
| 21:52:09 |
Webmama_Tina |
no worries, just making sure you
saw it :) |
| 21:52:19 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Biting is SOOO hard to deal with. |
| 21:52:39 |
PDMod_Kelly |
First of all it helps to remind
ourselves that it is developmentally appropraite misbehavior. |
| 21:52:49 |
momofgng |
i will check out the books, but i
have to say...i'm not very optimistic that the book will be the
only answer |
| 21:52:51 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Even though it's very
frustrating. |
| 21:53:01 |
Webmama_Tina |
yeah one thing to say for dr
phil...he did say to the mom of the 19 month old that he was too
young for timeout and that redirect was the main discipline for
that age |
| 21:53:03 |
willowsmom |
no no...it shouldn't be the only
answer... |
| 21:53:04 |
willowsmom |
lol |
| 21:53:08 |
willowsmom |
That's not what I was saying.. |
| 21:53:10 |
willowsmom |
:) |
| 21:53:27 |
willowsmom |
Just something to HELP...kwim? |
| 21:53:28 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Is the child mainly biting as a
way to handle conflicts or does it seem more random? |
| 21:53:47 |
momofgng |
thanks for the recommendation...i
will check it out |
| 21:53:57 |
willowsmom |
You're welcome. :) |
| 21:54:32 |
momofgng |
he has bitten in a tug of war
situation and also in calm play situations (unprovoked)...almost
like a puppy...just being mouthy |
| 21:55:05 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Some kids are VERY oral so they
think it feels pretty good to sink their teeth into something. |
| 21:55:12 |
willowsmom |
Ouch. :( That sounds difficult. |
| 21:55:22 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Also for oral kids, it's one way
that can help them relieve stress as well as come in handy to
solve a conflict. |
| 21:55:30 |
momofgng |
it's his first reaction to
conflict |
| 21:55:55 |
PDMod_Kelly |
My mother in law has worked in
the early childhood field for year. |
| 21:55:57 |
PDMod_Kelly |
s. |
| 21:55:58 |
momofgng |
this is not my child...i have an
inhome daycare |
| 21:56:03 |
PDMod_Kelly |
years. |
| 21:56:06 |
willowsmom |
Ohhhhhhhhhh |
| 21:56:11 |
PDMod_Kelly |
She heard some good ideas at a
conference a few years ago. |
| 21:56:28 |
WeeHands |
does he seem to be seeking
attention or trying to escape a situation? |
| 21:56:36 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Some of the suggestions for
chronic biters were: |
| 21:56:49 |
willowsmom |
What do his parents say? |
| 21:56:52 |
momofgng |
no attention...just wants that
particular toy |
| 21:57:17 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Offer them appropriate biting
toys (teething rings, wet washcloth, etc.) several times
throughout the day, especially if you notice they are stressed. |
| 21:57:28 |
momofgng |
his parents warned me ahead of
time, so we have been working together on it...keeping the
method of discipline consistent at home as well as daycare |
| 21:57:31 |
Webmama_Tina |
yeah keep a chew toy around your
neck! LOL |
| 21:57:44 |
PDMod_Kelly |
This gives them opportunities to
fulfull their oral needs and relieve stress but on an
appropriate place. |
| 21:58:03 |
willowsmom |
That's good that his parents are
working WITH you. So many don't believe their little angels"
would ever do something like that...." |
| 21:58:23 |
WeeHands |
how verbal is he? |
| 21:58:43 |
momofgng |
what about when he is doint it
out of frustration |
| 21:58:43 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Also have a box with a few oral
items in it for that particular child so he can choose to go to
them if and when he ever connects his sensation for wanting to
bite with those appropriate items to bite. |
| 21:59:25 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Yes, I like Wee Hands ? about how
verbal he is. |
| 21:59:27 |
Webmama_Tina |
that's a hard one...you have to
right on them...its exhausting! |
| 21:59:44 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Yes, biters require lots and lots
of supervision because it all happens SO FAST! |
| 21:59:59 |
Webmama_Tina |
yes she has a reason for asking
that...LOL ;) |
| 22:00:17 |
PDMod_Kelly |
In a perfect world, the idea
would be to teach him a few simple skills to solve conflicts, |
| 22:00:23 |
PDMod_Kelly |
BUT he's only 17 months. |
| 22:00:23 |
Webmama_Tina |
weehands will have a great
suggestion for ya..... |
| 22:00:24 |
momofgng |
he understands most of what i
say...but only speaks about a dozen words (not so clearly) |
| 22:00:35 |
WeeHands |
okay here i go. . |
| 22:00:38 |
Webmama_Tina |
:) |
| 22:00:42 |
PDMod_Kelly |
Do you know any Babysigns? |
| 22:00:55 |
momofgng |
i teach sign to all the kids |
| 22:01:08 |
WeeHands |
there are 4 reasons why any
challenging behaviour occur. . |
| 22:01:12 |
PDMod_Kelly |
The Babysigns book came out after
my kids were older. |
| 22:01:12 |
momofgng |
he has been quick to pick up
signs...he's only be with me for about 6 weeks |
| 22:01:17 |
keebler |
I've been using some babysigns
with my 12 month old. He doesn't use them yet but does
understand quite a few. |
| 22:01:23 |
PDMod_Kelly |
But I have heard that some have
had some great success with it. |
| 22:01:31 |
WeeHands |
to get attention, to escape a
situation, to request something and for sensory reasons. |
| 22:01:49 |
willowsmom |
I need to teach sign to
Willow....All she does is Meow. |
| 22:01:50 |
willowsmom |
;) |
| 22:02:01 |
WeeHands |
you can try to replace the
challenging behaviour with a sign that meets the same need |
| 22:02:02 |
Webmama_Tina |
weehands is sara of
www.weehands.com |
| 22:02:10 |
keebler |
:D |
| 22:02:10 |
Webmama_Tina |
she has a chat on baby signs
every week |
| 22:02:17 |
momofgng |
