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1st Chat With Author Elizabeth Pantley
http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/
2/15/05

30 mamas in attendance!

Books by Elizabeth Pantley:

 

13:04:53 Webmama_Tina Welcome to our first ever chat with author Elizabeth Pantley!
13:05:24 Webmama_Tina elizabeth, why don't you go ahead and introduce yourself...i know we are all chomping at the bit to get going. :)
13:05:59 ElizabethPantley Hi everyone! I'm the author of many parenting books including The No-Cry Sleep Solution (Now in 15 languages!) I have a new book coming out in June...
13:06:02 Webmama_Tina don't mind me as i post some notices here and there for newcomers and just info for the group....just keep on going. :)
13:06:07 ElizabethPantley The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers.
13:06:38 ElizabethPantley AND I'ma Mom of four wonderful children -- see our new family photo at www.pantley.com .    Today...we talk about sleep. Let's jump right in with the first question. Mod?
13:06:39 Webmama_Tina and when you are done with your intro, just say something like ready for my first question" and spookygirl will tell you who's first"
13:07:03 Spookygirl And the cute pic you put in the wonderful books you donated for my book club :)
13:07:20 ElizabethPantley Glad you enjoyed the pic :o)
13:07:32 ElizabethPantley First question?""
13:07:33 Spookygirl Cassies Mama is first
13:07:36 Cassie_s_Mama What suggestions do you have for transitioning a two and a half toddler to her own bed? She generally falls asleep with me, then we transfer her to her own bed, but i'd like for her to be able to lay down by herself before I have another baby!
13:07:48 Spookygirl Good one!
13:07:49 ElizabethPantley A very very very popular question!
13:07:56 madawna ?
13:08:00 Cassie_s_Mama thank you!!
13:08:18 ElizabethPantley Here are some tips (a little sneak preview from The NCSS for Toddlers :0 ...
13:08:59 ElizabethPantley Before we move on to the gentle ideas to move a child to independent sleep, let’s make sure this is what you want to do. Here are some questions to consider
13:09:14 ElizabethPantley
13:09:29 ElizabethPantley
13:09:56 ElizabethPantley When you decide it's time to move your child to independent sleep -- Try not to waver
13:10:10 ElizabethPantley If you feel good about this change, if you feel that the time is right, then you will convey your confidence to your child through your words and actions.
13:10:34 ElizabethPantley Set up a plan for change, write it down, and follow your plan every night.
13:10:53 ElizabethPantley You can, if you choose, do it in stages if you'd like....
13:11:28 ElizabethPantley set up a second bed next to yours – it could be a crib, toddler bed, mattress or futon. Begin by putting it right next to your bed. Then over a period of days or weeks even move the little bed away from yours.
13:11:49 ElizabethPantley once your child is comfortable in his bed you can move it to a different bedroom.
13:12:11 Webmama_Tina Welcome to Mommy Chat's first chat with author Elizabeth Pantley! Please post a single ?" if you have a question, to get added to the qeue."
13:12:15 ElizabethPantley It's OK to stay and parent your child" to sleep. Almost all toddlers require some parent's help to get settled."
13:12:41 ElizabethPantley A best bet for a new bed for a newly independent sleeper is a mattress on the floor. It’s nice and safe (no fear of big falls) and gives your child the freedom to get up and down easily.
13:13:03 ElizabethPantley Done gradually and with love a family-bed child can love his new sleeping place.    Next Q?
13:13:04 brooke ?
13:13:12 jgnportland ?
13:13:12 Spookygirl Leomom is next, got you Brooke
13:13:14 Cassie_s_Mama thank you!
13:13:32 scubamom ?
13:13:40 Spookygirl got you all
13:13:42 ElizabethPantley You're welcome Cassies Mommy
13:13:46 Spookygirl Leomom, are you typing?
13:13:52 Webmama_Tina At this time, please keep all side conversations to private message (PM). To PM someone, please double click their name in the user list to the right (in purple). Clicking their name in the main window will only paste their name into the chat.
13:14:05 schroedc ?
13:14:19 Webmama_Tina Please do not post unless it is your turn to ask a question. If you have a question, please post a single ?" and you'll be added to the queue. Have your question ready when your name is called."
13:14:23 Spookygirl Last call for Leomom?
13:14:37 leomom oh, sorry!  i thought you meant next after someoe!
13:14:45 Webmama_Tina lol no worries
13:14:49 Spookygirl no, it's your turn now hun!
13:15:10 leomom ok..dd just got over a cold and was waking to nurse every hour..now she is in that habit...how can i gently get her out of it wihoout crying?
13:15:26 leomom she's 5 months
13:15:28 ElizabethPantley Yes, you can. This is a verrrry common issue...
13:15:31 Webmama_Tina Spookygirl is our qeue-keeper today...so when she says its your turn....go for it! :)
13:16:01 ElizabethPantley Babies are creatures of habit -- and nursing to sleep is the best habit their is! (And sorry - the hardest to change...) Here's some tips....
13:16:26 ElizabethPantley This are helpful for ANY baby hooked on nursing to sleep. How about a show of hands? Who has a baby who nurses to sleep???
13:16:45 leomom me of course
13:16:53 leomom :)
13:16:57 dornback me too
13:17:02 sarahariz raises hand
13:17:10 jknielsen raising hand
13:17:12 brooke me, sometimes
13:17:20 schroedc Me
13:17:27 sunshine Me too
13:17:28 mom2radata me
13:17:28 madawna me too!
13:17:40 Webmama_Tina used to...when she was nursing (she's 4 now)
13:17:49 ElizabethPantley As you can see.  This is a verrrry common issue...
13:18:16 ElizabethPantley I was there with my 4th baby Coleton when he was a12 months old -- that's why my book was born!!!
13:18:23 ElizabethPantley “Pantley’s Gentle Removal” plan may be an important key for you. Instead of feeding your baby until she’s totally asleep, take her off the breast when she is done actively drinking and doing that sleepy fluttery start/stop sucking – that’s just for pacifying. Your baby should NOT be sound asleep when you remove her, because then he has a strong association to sleeping with the nipple in her mouth and she’ll be looking for it all night!   And……
13:18:58 ElizabethPantley Stay with it – sometimes it takes 6-10 tries before your baby will fall asleep, but after a few days of consistent GR it will take 5-7 times, then 4 times,  then one wonderful day, your baby will fall asleep after the first removal! Some babies are more persistent than others – they don’t want to give up such a wonderful sleep-aid (can’t blame ‘em!), so be patient but persistent!
13:19:08 leomom i do use that for naps from your book..but at ngiht, she's already asleep as soon as i put her on the breast?
13:19:36 ElizabethPantley Also, as the GR begins to work it's a good idea to Pull Off sooner and sooner in the process, and one day your baby will surprise you by pulling off on his own. But to get there consistency on your part is important…..
13:19:46 leomom she cries, i pick her up, go to feed her, she sucks a few times and is out like a light for an hour or so
13:19:57 ElizabethPantley If you’ve tried this, but the GR hasn’t been working, try using a quicker more confident break with your finger. If you are sitting and nursing her, immediately move her up to your chest and hold her snugly while you swing/sway/swish/pat/shh or otherwise comfort her. If you are lying beside her, use the quick release, and then shift your breasts away from her face (turn on your tummy) while patting, rubbing or whatever soothes her.
13:20:20 ElizabethPantley You see? She's not hungry -- just needs the feel of the nipple in her mouth.
13:20:36 leomom so should i skip the nipple all together?
13:21:10 ElizabethPantley Well, that would likely result in lots of tears.  You could TRY a simple pick up and rock or sway. If she still needs to nurse keep it VERY brief, then GR
13:21:24 leomom ok, thanks!
13:21:28 Spookygirl ?
13:21:32 Webmama_Tina Welcome to Mommy Chats' first ever chat with author Elizabeth Pantley! Please do not post unless it is your turn to ask a question. If you have a question, please post a single ?" and you'll be added to the queue. Have your question ready when your name is called."
13:21:36 ElizabethPantley Let me know how it goes!   Next Q?
13:21:46 Spookygirl madawna your turn
13:21:51 madawna my 2 year old is waking every 15 mins or so to nurse at night .  She will not go to sleep without nursing which makes it impossible for anyone else to get her to sleep. She lacks self soothing skills in gen. Can you give me any ideas for teaching her ?
13:21:58 madawna Thanks!!
13:22:21 ElizabethPantley Remember too that at any time if you feel too frustrated to continue with the GR / PPO, just let your little one nurse to sleep so that you can sleep too, and try again next time she wakes up. Unless you have a deadline, such as wanting to get pregnant or returning to work, don’t feel you must succeed quickly. This process may take some time. Be patient.
13:22:39 ElizabethPantley Oh, sweetie! Your story is a very popular one -- you have lots of company....
13:22:59 madawna I too have tried the GR and she flips out.  I am afraid I have wrecked the baby!""
13:22:59 ElizabethPantley By 2 years a little one sure knows what she wants, eh?
13:23:10 madawna :)
13:23:14 ElizabethPantley I'd work on the first falling asleep of the night to set a pace for the rest of the night....
13:23:29 Webmama_Tina Spookygirl is our qeue-keeper today...she'll let you know when its your turn. :)
13:23:44 ElizabethPantley Change your bedtime routine. Nurse her ON THE SOFA then bring her to the bedroom and read or tell her stories in the dark. Let her have a sippy cup or paci if she wants.
13:24:07 ElizabethPantley If the first falling asleep of the night doesn't involve BF then you should see the night waking fade quickly.
13:24:37 madawna ok... good idea.  I am going to try the bed beside the bed trick too.  Thanks so much.  LOVED your book and look forward to the next!
13:24:42 ElizabethPantley Also, it's common for little ones to want only Mommy at bedtime. It's a biological need.
13:24:58 ElizabethPantley Let me know how things progress. Good luck! Next Q?
13:25:01 Spookygirl Brooke
13:25:06 brooke I've tried laying my 7 month old son down when he's sleepy but awake.  He is instantly WIDE awake, snorting and frantic.  I get this reaction when I put him down asleep sometimes, too.  he has a variety of ways to go to sleep...nursing, rocking, jostling..
13:25:25 ElizabethPantley Want everyone to know that I have lots of book excerpts on my website that you can read for ideas. ANd nice interviews with my Test Mommies too -- pantley.com
13:26:17 ElizabethPantley According to the National Sleep Foundation’s 2004 Sleep in America poll of over 1400 parents....
13:26:50 ElizabethPantley , parents and caregivers were asked if the children put themselves to bed. In the toddler age group less than 1% did, and among preschoolers 1% managed this amazing feat. Only 12% of school-aged children put themselves to bed.  Little children need their parents at bedtime.
13:27:15 ElizabethPantley That television scene we know so well: parent tucks blanket around child, parent kisses child’s forehead and says goodnight, shuts the light, and leaves the room. Child smiles, closes eyes and goes to sleep. You know, that scene? Pure fantasy. Unrealistic,   But.....
13:28:15 ElizabethPantley If you create a gentle, loving, consistent bedtime routine you can down the time you need to stay with your child. If he knows he gets back rubs, pats, songs, he will accept bedtime easier... also....
13:28:36 ElizabethPantley If you don’t already use it I would use white noise (or lullaby music) for falling asleep. You can even leave it on for an entire nap and even all night (think of how peaceful it is when a fan or heater is running all night.) Use a bubbling fish tank, a fan/heater or a white noise machine. (check out homedics)…
13:28:47